My journey began with me reconnecting with my roots in high school and into my early adult life. Although I was very aware of my indigenous ancestry, and felt a pulling in the direction of reconnecting, it took quite some time. My Nahua and African ancestry were drowned out by the religious spirit. One that told me I couldn’t pick up copal, or use traditional instruments for worship. In the church, it became hard for me to reconcile with the fact that the Christianity we have been taught, and the traditions that were ingrained in the western church, were rooted in colonialism. The only culture that was accepted was European. Everyone else’s culture was considered demonic, especially if it was abused by new agers.

When it comes to deconstruction, it’s common for this to be a place where your faith comes to die, while developing hatred and anger towards the modern church. These things that were done wrong in the name of Christianity couldn’t be swept under the rug for me. The roots of the mindset behind the wickedness still have their roots deep in the church. I grew angrier when a church pastor decided to make a sermon of the things that I had issues with, and that I should be “grateful” (or in other words, ignore it) for all of what led to the creation of America, and called those who disagreed with him oversensitive. As a result, I left that church and never returned. I cried out to Creator (God). I hated that the world became a black and white place, with no middle ground. Due to the actions of men who did awful things in His name, it created a split road between picking ethnically how I was born and being Christian. Despite all of this, the Creator met me right where I was.

In 2022, I traveled all the way to Turner,Oregon for a 4 day retreat/ powwow called Wiconi. It was a breath of fresh air. I was surrounded by other native people, of all tribes. Some of them were residential school survivors, and others were there to heal from their ancestral traumas. One thing we all had in common was Creator Sets Free(Jesus). It was healing for me to wake up, and head down the field for ceremony. When we worshipped, they played the drums, while we were also embraced by the smoke of burning sage. His presence was so very strong. I got to hear so many incredible stories, and fellowshipped with amazing people from many nations. I felt safe. I felt home. The last day was a powwow. I honestly did not want to leave after the powwow was over. I was gifted a First Nations Version of the New Testament and was prayed for before I departed.

I left with a sense of peace and feeling of being complete in my identity. I didn’t have to pick between being a believer and being indigenous/African. It’s how Creator made me and could use my culture as an offering to Him. Contextual ministry, and books by native believers gave me a deeper understanding, and ways to navigate these things. I knew I was going to be met with opposition from many people, but I was ready. This is part of the destiny He set before me. To be a bridge and create a space for people like me.